• Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Self Care

    Picking Up the Pieces

    I remember sorting through photos as I was packing my belongings that I would be taking with me when I moved out and I felt such a bittersweet wave of emotions and tears take over, which was somewhat confusing because after all- I was the one who wanted this. Was I sad? Of course, however, I knew that as I packed each box, I was leaving behind all of the pieces of myself and the last 9 years that no longer serve who I am today. This was such a symbolic thing for me to do because although divorce can be difficult, it is also the rebirthing of who you…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Self Care

    From ‘I Do’ To ‘I’m Done’; My Journey Through Divorce

    To say the last year has been easy would be a lie, I just haven’t shared with the world what has been really going on, so here it is…. Dave and I have decided to get a divorce. There, I said it out loud. I have never been one to air my drama on any sort of platform, but we have so many friendships we have built with people all over the country that I felt this was the best outlet to ‘announce’ it. After all, for months I have been getting messages from friends and family asking the status of our marriage as the posts have slowly come to…

  • Healthy Lifestyle,  Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health

    Shining Light On Toxic Behaviors

    Toxic behaviors. I wish I knew how to put into words just how challenging writing this article has been for me. I’ve come back for weeks now, pouring my heart and soul into words, only then to delete it all because it’s just so much. It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel ashamed. The reason why it’s difficult for me to talk about toxic behaviors is that even though I’m no longer the person I used to be, much of my past still haunts me and causes a lot of guilt. I know that everyone makes mistakes and that we all have to grow from our history, but a massive part…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Self Care

    Sorry, Not Sorry.

    For those who are ready to let the judgements, insecurities, the weight of whatever holds them back, finally go. If this speaks to you -find a quiet place where you can be alone and continue while you read out loud.  I’m sorry, not sorry… I get that there’s a chance -a very likely possibility- that some may not understand me. They don’t know why I’ve made certain decisions in my life. They may not know why I process thoughts, handle situations, or react the way I do. They, you, may not even recognize me. That I am a creative mess. That I’m a mess in general. That I am a…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Motherhood

    My Home Is My Haven -Even On The Worst Of Days

    Home is my haven, but I’m going to divulge that sometimes there are days when home itself is what drives me mad in the first place even when there is no real explanation as to why -days like today. *takes a deep breath* The thing is, I woke up in this feisty mood and I have no idea why other than the fact that I’m a woman with a neverending list of responsibilities and a repetition of housework that can sometimes be maddening. I keep telling myself that it’s okay, that this is normal, that this is the life of a mom and sometimes we hit limits. But, the funny…

  • Marriage & Relationships

    7 Tips To Keep Your Marriage Strong In The Face Of A Storm

    At some point or another, all marriages will go through turbulent patches. The list of reasons why could literally go on forever, but some of the most common reasons are: financial troubles, parenting differences, infidelity, lack of trust, family and friend related drama, lack of communication, career challenges, addiction, personality clashes, depression, physical appearance changes, sickness, grief, moving, or external family stress and pressure. All couples should know when they get married that life is not going to be 100% happy, loving, and Instagram worthy as life has a way of throwing us curve balls when we least expect it. Real life is messy; people change, people let themselves go,…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Self Care

    How Do You Know If It’s Time To Walk Away From A Toxic Relationship?

    There is an old metaphor from the Philippines called the ‘crab mentality’ that helps me understand the motivations behind crappy human behavior. You have a barrel full of live crabs, some of which can easily escape, and the ones who try escaping get pulled back down by the other crabs with the mindset of ‘if I can’t have it, neither can you’. This is a perfect metaphor to describe human behavior that is particularly useful in spotting toxic friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, and working relationships. It describes the feelings and actions that others may take when someone else is experiencing success; they seek to ‘pull them down’ out of…

  • Healthy Lifestyle,  Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health

    To Forgive and Let Live – What Forgiveness Is & How We Reach It

    When painful wrongdoings of the past continue to creep their way into your future, it’s hard to move beyond them, but you owe it to yourself to try. Right? Absolutely, yes. The only thing is, you think you’re over something that has haunted you only for the memory (big or small) to resurface at the most inopportune time -talk about anxiety that is hard to explain. When we’re hurt emotionally, it leaves such marks that can resurface at any moment and can be unbearable which is why it requires gentle care. For me, forgiveness isn’t always easy, and I know isn’t easy for you either. The thing is, we can’t and…

  • Healthy Lifestyle,  Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Motherhood,  Productivity,  Self Care

    Finances, Emotional Intelligence, and Orgasms -Oh My! The Many Sides of Self-Care That No One’s Talking About

    Self-care isn’t direct -it’s multi-faceted, and is most successful when treated as such. Like a diamond that’s been pushed down time and time again while feeling the pressure of the world, to finally becoming one of the most precious gemstones that refuses to break -we too require the love and care needed to shine so brightly.   Diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend, self-care is. You’re the diamond, Sister!     The thing is, self-care has become just another thing most women are expected to be great at, or it’s assumed to be something we naturally know how to do, but that’s not the case -whatsoever. We aren’t born understanding what self-care is;…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Self Care

    Why Women Judge Each Other And Why It Has To Stop

    We are ALL guilty of judging other women whether we want to admit that or not. We oftentimes make judgements about other woman based on surface level assumptions such as their appearance or demeanor. Perhaps this woman was prettier than you, or heavier than you, was wearing something revealing, or her children were behaving like animals- we make judgements about people every single day. We may even make a snide comment to our friend about the judgement we just made about that other woman. Have you ever felt judged? It doesn’t feel very good does it? I have felt judged in a million different ways and in a million different situations. Whether it…

  • Healthy Lifestyle,  Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Self Care

    It’s Never Too Late To Tell A New Story About Yourself

    Have you ever met a person who lived and breathed their problems? A Debbie-Downer type that seems to bring a rain cloud with them wherever they go. They dwell on the negative, they are victims of everything, and seem to put a damper on everyone around them. These people are fairly easy to spot, but I want you to think about the ways that you breathe life into your problems. What are the things you complain about the most? You see, when you complain all day and to everyone about your issues, you are reiterating that narrative to yourself that you do in fact have those problems. I’ve met tons of…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Productivity,  Self Care

    Why All Moms Who ‘Let Themselves Go’ Need To Get Themselves Back

    We have all heard the phrase ‘she really let herself go after kids’ or we know someone who fits the description. This phrase is usually aimed at the stressed-out looking mom rocking sweat pants and slippers in public far too often with her hair in a mess and obviously gives zero F’s about her appearance. Whether it was retaining the baby weight for a little too long, putting zero effort into your appearance, wearing pajamas all day, or going through a phase of being unpleasant to be around and lazy. Let’s be honest for a moment- we have all been there at some point and to some degree. The difference between…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Motherhood,  Self Care

    Who Knew That Making Mom Friends Would Be So Hard?

    I’ve always been the type of girl that never lacked in the ‘girl friends’ category. I had always found that making friends with women was effortless and deemed myself a ‘girl’s girl’ a very long time ago. Sure, I had lost some friends or cut friends out of my life for various reasons, but overall I never lacked or struggled in the friend category; until I became a mom. I knew that motherhood would present it’s own challenges, but I was never prepared for the complete change in dynamic that would occur when it came to courting and maintaining friendships. I compare having mom friends as an adult to playing chess…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health

    Even The ‘Best’ Marriages Go Through Hard Times & It’s Time We Start Talking About It

    It seems as though everywhere you look, everyone’s marriage seems picture-perfect, at least in the fantasy land we call social media. It is a widely known ‘no-no’ to air our dirty laundry on social media and on the rare occasion someone does, we grab the popcorn and listen to the tea being spilled. We wouldn’t dare do this ourselves because it would be embarrassing and we don’t need to update our hundreds of acquaintances with every detail post-marital scandal. After all, some things should remain off social media, right? Seeing everyone’s highlight reels of their seemingly perfect marriage can sting when you are going through a hard time in yours.…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health

    Sustaining A Strong & Healthy Marriage Through Honest Communication & Vulnerability

    When we’re feeling awful about ourselves and life has us a mess, having a vulnerable and honest conversation about mental health with your spouse can be difficult if you don’t know where to start. These discussions can be especially tricky if you don’t recognize your warning signs yet or if you’re at a place in your journey where denial still holds considerable strength. For example, when you’re having continuous negative thoughts that you can’t control. You’re starting to resent your husband for the things that he is or isn’t doing around the house but don’t speak up. You begin feeling emotionally numb or having strong, erratic emotional upsets. Start to…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health

    Living With Anxiety & Depression: The Difficulty Of Friendship and The Secrets To Making Them Last.

    Making friends is easy when you’re fun, kind and welcoming, but keeping them, however, is an entirely different story, especially if you suffer from anxiety and depression. As a woman who has dealt with mental health issues for as long as I can remember, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will have to live with a lot of acquaintances. Even though I wish that weren’t the case, it’s where my life lessons have brought me. I’m sure some people from my past may believe I’m awful because I couldn’t live up to certain expectations or I came off cold more times than I would like, and that’s…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Motherhood,  Self Care

    Dealing With Mean Girls…..As An Adult

    There is no doubt that at some point in your life that you have had to deal with a mean girl, or even worse- mean girls! These adult bullies can appear in many forms such as a coworker, a boss, a friend of a friend, a fellow mom, a ‘frenemy’, someone from your past, or even on social media. This isn’t a topic that is touched on too much as an adult as we constantly were reminded throughout our childhood about bullies, so the subject in itself can seem childish because after all, we are adults now and should be able to ‘stick up for ourselves’ right? I vividly remember…

  • Healthy Lifestyle,  Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Self Care

    Wish You Could Respond To Stress Better? Try These 6 Tips!

    If you’re anything like me, you oftentimes find yourself kicking yourself in the rear for how you reacted to a stressful situation. When I get stressed I tend to lash out on the nearest bystander- not a good look for someone who is trying to #slay motherhood as my actions can sometimes undercut my goals of rewiring my brain to remain calm, cool, and collected in the face of stress. My response is usually irrational because when I am triggered by an activating event, it leads to an escalation of thoughts aka ‘racing thoughts’. Sometimes the event is huge and a stressful reaction is warranted (example: house on fire, traumatic…

  • Healthy Lifestyle,  Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Motherhood,  Productivity,  Self Care

    5 Reasons Why You Need To Create A Daily Routine.

    Something I realized while serving in the military, was that I liked it when someone was bossing me around. The yelling didn’t get to me, it was soothing in a weird, please, don’t destroy me, kind of way. My military girlfriends and I still joke about how amazing it would be to have someone following us around all day, telling us when we were slacking off and demand that we do our daily workout. It could be that I’m an Aries so I appreciated the strong-headedness, I also love a good challenge, but I still wish I had someone like that in my life today. That fairy tale, however, is a…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Motherhood,  Self Care

    The Power of Setting Boundaries

    We all have them– relationships with friends, family, coworkers, or in laws that drain you emotionally and energetically. You see the phone ring, or a text come through and you feel yourself instantly dreading the upcoming interaction. This doesn’t apply to just people and relationships, the draining feeling can arise from a variety of different situations and commitments that you have gotten yourself in to. I know for me, there has been many times that I had committed to something that I truly didn’t want to do and absolutely dreaded that commitment, which in turn, put me in a foul mood and drained my energy. Now, I want you to…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Motherhood,  Self Care

    “You Don’t Owe Anyone An Explanation.”

    “You don’t owe anyone an explanation,” a comment my husband made to me early 2016 when I was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack. It was a time when I had significant personal breakthroughs, but instead of rejoicing these discoveries I began worrying about how I was going to explain my way of life to those around me. Those six words struck my core and set me on a path of total self-love and being the best wife and mother possible. I now have them permanently taped to my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder to live my life for me and the happiness of my family. A…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Productivity,  Self Care

    How to Snap Out of the Victimhood Mentality and Start Enjoying Life!

    I wanted to talk  about the victimhood mentality that has taken over my generation, the Millennials. It seems like everywhere you turn, Millennials can be seen bitching, moaning, and being ‘outraged’. Combine it with perpetuating fact-lacking propaganda fueled by hormones and a desire to be seen as a ‘revolutionary’ and we have got ourselves a recipe for disaster. The trend of being the first to point out micro-aggressions, shaming, and the demand for safe spaces is how the term ‘Snowflake’ evolved as this group of young people have an emotional state that is seemingly as ‘delicate as a Snowflake’.   Let me make something clear before I move on. I don’t think…

  • Marriage & Relationships,  Mental Health,  Motherhood,  Self Care

    Why you Need to Start Saying NO!

    I used to be one of those people called a people pleaser. If you read my post about understanding your past and how it shapes your current behavior, you can easily understand how I came to be that way. What I didn’t realize was how much of an emotional toll that possessing this seemingly positive trait would take on my mental health. So many of us are caught up in the struggle of wanting people to accept us, to like us, and to belong. This is nothing to be ashamed of, it is part of our essence of being human. You just have to learn how to juggle the people-pleasing part…

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