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All of us at one point or another have felt, and even some of us RIGHT NOW *I know I am* are feeling life-altering growing pains. I’m not talking about the growing pains that we experienced during our childhood or our pregnancies, when our bodies pulled, stretched, and expanded as we slept, which yes, were painful. But the passing times of life’s many teachable moments that have us figuratively and energetically extending as we walk through each day -eye’s wide open or sometimes shut- becoming our highest form of self.
There have been and will be moments in life when we don’t even realize we’re growing. Often, these times can be the most painful but also most effective if we pay close enough attention. Like when you hit rock bottom because of poor life choices. Or the change comes at the hand of another, i.e., breakups, death, adultery, or illness. It’s during these growing pains that life forces us to make a decision and our instincts can take over. Many times it isn’t until after the dust has settled that we realize whether or not we “played our cards right,” or took the path of least resistance. Often you won’t even know you’ve made it through a stage of growth until you can look back on a situation and forgive others or be grateful for even the harshest of circumstances.
I know that there have been times when I failed to see the growth offered up in front of me. My stubbornness and hate left me going in circles, returning to unhealthy relationships, seeking silence through substances, believing that this was just who I was, holding grudges, and placing blame on others. I was at a point where I didn’t want to believe that I had a choice as to what happened in my life or at the very least the power to change it. These vicious cycles broke me down again and again until I couldn’t break anymore. It’s there, where I was unable to cope with pain any longer, actually admitting to the amount of power that I had in my life’s outcome, that I finally hit rock bottom. Once I hit my lowest low, realizing that this was all my doing and no one else’s, I was overcome by a form of clarity and indescribable guidance that aggressively slingshot me into the right direction. I was, finally, FINISHED with that version of myself.
Life has a creative way of forcing us to face what we need to change -wise, yet brutal.
Just like we as parents sometimes have to put on our disciplinary face and raise our voice to our children so they can learn what is best for them -life has a way of doing the same for us. It’s up to us to feel our Universal Mother’s energy and let her guide us to our most significant potential. Still, just like our kids, even when we don’t realize it or want to hear it, we’re growing. Only, it’s up to us as to whether we fight that growth tooth-and-nail or keep our receiving signal open. Growth goes hand in hand with who we are at our most basic levels. It’s in our blood. It’s in our subconscious. It’s what makes us, us. The more we fight it, the harder life can become, but the moment we accept this powerful, reality of our existence life seems to make more sense. It will never be painless but it can be rewarding in every sense of the word. That’s where we have to find the courage to grow.
When you’re committed to personal growth and development it takes unimaginable courage. It’s in this commitment to growth that you stop making excuses for where you are in your life or placing blame on others. You realize that your life experience falls into your own hands.
YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE POWERFUL
If you’re dedicated, to personal growth and development, let me tell you, you are one courageous soul because this shit is not easy. It’s painful looking yourself in the mirror and recognizing that you aren’t the person you want to be. Realizing that you did things in your past, you’re not proud of; that you experienced situations that caused damage; that you have to seek closure with people who hurt you; that you may have to say “I was wrong.”
It’s okay though, all of us (especially the ones who are successful in life -whatever that is to them) had to find the courage to grow. I’m here to tell you that you can improve in more ways that you can imagine because you, girl, are built for greatness. I’m here to tell you that, yes, even when you’re committed to self-growth the pain of it can sometimes leave you questioning “why?” Remember…
YOU ARE THE REASON WHY
If you’re teetering between, “meh, I’m good enough,” and this constant, deep feeling that perhaps you could be better but don’t know where to start, this is for you. Trust that voice inside and find a way to let your greatest and happiest self, free.
The Courage To Think & Reflect
How terrifying is our ability to look at ourselves and think, “I’m not the best that I can be.” WOW. It’s not a nice feeling. Yes, you’re told to love yourself to no end and be your greatest supporter, of course, but I believe that it’s even more intimate to be courageous and say to yourself, “this isn’t where I want to be,” and “I can be better than I am right now in this moment.” Self-love isn’t denial and turning a blind eye to your faults; self-love is taking that ability to reflect on those faults then having the courage to change them regardless of how painful it may be.
Your reflection is going to make you beyond uncomfortable because it’s naturally hard to admit that you’re not the best. The anxiety that you’ll experience once you touch on the idea that you’re unhappy with the life you’re living can take your breath away. Acknowledging that you’re wrong or that you’ve made mistakes requires a power you may believe is impossible. These thoughts don’t take away from who you are, no way, and they sure as hell don’t remove your worth. Understand it as you reflecting on the person you currently are and thinking of how to make beautiful additions -stripping yourself from your comfort zone and making changes to who you are, what you do, how you let the world impact you. Once you’ve become courageous enough to give your deepest feelings and retrospects your undivided attention, you are one step closer to finding the courage to grow and making that growth a reality.
The Courage To Rise & Commit
Our future self has not been set in stone. How beautiful is that truth? Understanding that I am fluid and that I can change who I am, how I react, how I see life whenever I want to -regardless of how others may view me- is my ultimate superpower. It’s not easy nor will this ever be perfected but you can bet your ass I try to implement this understanding daily. On my bathroom mirror is the writing:
“I Hold The Power To Tame My Fate.”
I chose these words among many others, because I’ve committed myself to rise above who I am today and challenge my flaws. Regardless of what it is we want to change about ourselves there are many ways to invest our time and our effort to our future self and our growth: find counseling, implement more self-care rituals, commit to a healthier lifestyle, seek treatment; speak your truth; strengthen relationships. It all depends on what it is you want to change then listening to your gut feelings as to how you’re going to make it happen.
MOST IMPORTANTLY TRUST YOURSELF
You know what you need to do, but if you feel like you don’t you can find a therapist or a counselor. Confide in those who can help you decipher what it is that is breaking you down. It’s going to be a long road and at times a very difficult path but remember that nothing good comes easy. Find yourself or create an environment that is filled with encouraging people and words. Litter your home with mantras and reminders of what you need to do. Cover your home, your vehicle, your office with reminders of your chosen self-growth path. Acknowledge that you’re going to make mistakes and you’re not going to “get it” right away -hell, maybe never. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stumbled along my own path. There were moments when I felt like giving up but I reminded myself of that indescribable day that I hit my rock bottom, and I let it push me further. I promised myself that I would never give up on bettering myself -that there is always room for growth.
The Courage To Grow
Life is always going to be stressful. You will ALWAYS deal with disruptive changes, but you must remain resilient and hold onto your courage. Don’t let your self-doubt, anxiety, or hopelessness gain leverage. Remind yourself that this is something EVERY PERSON EXPERIENCES -the difference is in whether or not they can accept the fact that they have the power and ability to change their fate. It’s whether or not they let themselves be courageous and grow that makes the difference. That’s why we have to find the ability to look inward and challenge ourselves. It’s up to us to find our own courage and grow into the person we want to be then love ourselves enough to follow through on the journey.