Mommaslayer Spotlight

Mommaslayer Spotlight: Bree @Binteriors

Bree is a military wife and mother of one who recently moved across country from California to Virginia. Bree runs a Home and Lifestyle Blog, www.BinteriorsDesign.com that covers everything from her career as an interior designer, decorator, party planner, and furniture maker as well as her recipes, her experiences as a wife and being a momma. Design has been a lifelong passion of Bree’s and she is extremely grateful to see it take shape. Her hobbies include cooking, working out, snowboarding, loving on her cat, thrift shopping, upcycling, DIYing, gardening, going to country concerts, and wine tasting! A fun fact about Bree- she is in a #relationshipgoals meme! 

How do you take care of your mental health?

Healthy diet, working out, companionship with both my husband and friends and lets be honest, a little wine never hurt anyone. I love to cook and cooking healthy comes naturally to me because that is how I like my family and I to eat. I also find the act of cooking to be very therapeutic {as long as my husband does the dishes}. I work out at least 5 days a week- everything from cardio, lifting weights, boxing, dancing to swimming. I just love to be active especially first thing in the morning because it just sets the tone for the day. I get a healthier outlook on the day once I’ve pushed my physical limits- it is what drives me. Plus, the endorphins you get from working out is the best ‘high.’ I also try and stay connected with friends, especially since my cross country move as it’s easy to experience loneliness when you do not know anyone but I reach out often, as do them. My husband and I have a few hours to ourselves as a couple every evening {that he is home}. After having a child, we felt it was really important to continue couple-time so, we make it a priority. And WINE, yup, wine! At the end of the day when I just need a little break, a glass of wine every now and then works like a charm { I am human}.

How do you practice self-care with the demands of motherhood being so high?

Other than what I’ve already mentioned {diet & exercise} being most important, a good shower is my savior. Honestly, I know women always talk about not showering for days but I find my peace in those 15 minutes. I can wash away a difficult design day or tantrum and I feel brand new. I shower more than I ever used to actually because it helps me reset. My husband used to allow our daughter to run into the bathroom, climb in or just play with the curtain while I was showering. He now realizes the importance the shower is to me and no longer lets her do that, I shut the door and it’s ME time. When my husband isn’t around, I shower during naps or I go to the gym because they have daycare and I need my shower!

How do you manage stress?

Exercise, showering, PRAYING, taking walks, Vitamin D which means working outside, a clean house. I am the type of person that even if everything is crumbling around me I at least need my outward appearance to look on point- bed made, makeup on etc. It’s a mind game for myself but it helps me focus. Mind over matter.

How do you maintain your self-esteem & confidence?

Gosh, that’s a hard one. I fear I fall short on that issue all too often. I am very hard on myself as it is, which is both a blessing and a curse. I feel my drive and meticulous vision is the reason I am able to become a successful designer but it is also my down fall, personally. I’ll start by saying I’ve deleted every IG model off my page, LOL. As superficial as it sounds-it helps. It wasn’t motivation to me, I motivate myself enough and it was just hurting my mind. I exercise a lot and I love self help books and reading in general. I focus on my strengths instead of dwelling in my weaknesses. I set goals for myself and make sure I reach them. I have a wonderfully encouraging husband who builds me up when I am feeling down, and when all that doesn’t work, I just contour the heck out of myself and call it a win!

How do you keep your relationship strong?

As I mentioned before, couple-time is a huge priority for us. Being a military family we spend far too much time apart as it is, then add children on top of it. It can be really easy to forget about what was once important. When we first had our child we set a strict early bedtime rule, mainly because it allowed us time to be with each other. Those first few months of parenthood are doozies and without those mandated hours together we may have lost ourselves. It may sounds silly to someone to set scheduled love-hours in your day but in a busy world, you gotta do what you gotta do it make it work and I am not ashamed of that. We also don’t watch TV, so by spending time I mean talking with no distractions- just one on one time. My love language is quality time, so by nurturing that need of mine it encourages me to nurture his needs. Love is a two way street and I am lucky to have a partner who is willing to do what it takes to not just survive, but thrive.

How do you deal with stressful relatives/friends/coworkers?

My initial desired response is a snarky remark but when I can reclaim my cool {which is pretty easy for me, I am very level headed}. I generally remove myself from the situation until I have come up with a calm and collected thought only then I will reengage, that is- if I feel the need to address it at all. Most of the time, I feel it’s not worth my time. I never like to respond out of emotion and I actually have a hard time understanding people that do. So I always prefer to be calm collected and well thought out if I do choose to pursue the situation.

Where does your motivation come from? What is your why?

I have always been a very driven person, so I like to think it comes from within. Although, my husband and daughter are huge motivating factors as well, I would say mainly they have helped me with direction, The drive has always been there.

What is the hardest thing you have been through?

Last year, my sister had a still born. My nephew passed away in her belly at 9 months gestation. We had journeyed through our pregnancies together just a month apart. The confusion, frustration, anger, and guilt that I faced during this experience are feelings I still can not shake at times. This is honestly still an extremely difficult topic for me despite loving to keep his memory alive. I am not sure I have or ever will understand it, we-as a family, will just learn to live with the pain over time. We pray a lot- mainly for understanding. My sister and I talk often about him, which brings a lot of peace. I find solace in knowing that he is in heaven now. I only find understanding in knowing God took him home early- not because he didn’t deserve earth, but that he was such a pure soul, that earth didn’t deserve him.

Who is your role model and why?

My Dad is one of the most hard working people I have ever met in my life. He never gives up, no matter what obstacles are in his way and his generosity is incomparable. His optimism and sacrifice are truly inspiring.

How has your childhood influenced the way you parent and who you are as an adult?

Everything- it influences everything. I like to say I am a perfect mix of my parents. I have my Dad’s creativity, passion, drive and optimism and I have my mom’s corky behavior, realist attitude and over bearing ability to love {and I mean that in a good way}. All of these attributes shape who I am as a mother, friend and wife. I feel I am lucky to be so dynamic ;). No-but for real, everything I do has been shaped by my childhood, the good, the bad and everything in between. Hard to pinpoint how or why, it just is.

What are your strengths?

I am very creative, motivated, articulate, energetic and motivating. I have a wonderful ability to bring people together. I always see a positive spin even in the worst situations. I am well grounded but still a big dreamer. I am always grateful, of everything, no matter how small yet I continue to try and improve, always. My capacity to love is great and I am one of the most loyal people you will ever meet, to a fault {on my own accord}. I will never give up on making my dreams come true.

Where can you improve?

Ha, I can improve everywhere. I’ll never be too ‘good’ to not know the humbling realization that I can improve in every area. As far as a blogger and designer goes I’d love to improve on my ability to edit my own work as well as expand my ability to see designs through new eyes.

Have you ever experienced depression or anxiety, if so- how do you manage/cope with it?

Yes I have, I’d be hard pressed to find anyone who hasn’t at one point or another. I go through bouts of depression from time to time, and I have crippling social anxiety–yet everyone would say they had no clue since I am such a natural gatherer, but it’s true. In the past I have taken medication to help but for the past 10 years have been medication free. It is something I am very proud of and I owe it to prayer and exercise and lots of practice. Mind over matter! Easier said than done, I know, but it can be done.

 

Have you ever experienced judgement or ‘mom shaming’ from other moms?

Of course! People are noisy but I don’t really care. Being a blogger and putting it all out there means you are bound to have some people not agreeing with what you are doing. But with that said, I have thick skin and wouldn’t put it out there if I wasn’t prepared for backlash.

What is your advice to a new mom who has high ambitions but doesn’t know where to start?

Be forgiving to yourself– I ate a lot of humble pie when I become a mother. That’s not to say I don’t believe in you, if there is something you what, you can do it! But also be forgiving if you change your mind. Baby first, pride last. Motherhood has no place for pride.

What is your advice to a mom getting ready to re-enter the workforce?

Don’t forget to take care of your mental and physical health, it will not only make you better at your job, but it will make you a better mother, wife, and friend. Be honest with your needs. Do your homework when it comes to daycare and go with a place you trust with your life and never give up on your dreams.

What is your advice to a mom who is stuck in a motivational rut?

Go out and get motivated- don’t sit around and wallow in it! As a designer, creative roadblocks happen regularly so it’s important to get out in the world, get inspired and see things from a different perspective.

What is your advice to a new mom that you wish you had been told or prepared for?

Be patient and kind to yourself. No one knows what they are doing, we are all just faking it. Some better than others, lol, JK! 

What was the hardest part about becoming a mom?

Everything

What was the best part about becoming a mom?

Again, everything! I truly couldn’t have prepared myself for this kind of love.

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