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April 2018

Laughable Moments: 35 Indications That You May Just Have Mom Brain

When I heard that ‘mom brain’ never went away, I didn’t want to believe it, but as the years go by I’m starting to realize that it’s true and the only thing we can do about it is to laugh it off! My daughter just turned five, and here I am still unable to remember how old I am, I mean come on! I’m also having moments like this morning where I’m dumping coffee grounds where the water is meant to go in my Bunn coffee maker. If you haven’t followed us on Instagram, head over to @mommaslay.official and take a look for yourself -it was a real SMH moment. All I could do was laugh because this type of off-the-wall occurrence often happens in our house, more often than I would like anyway. I’ve maintained a healthy diet, made sure to take my supplements daily, kept my brain active with work and school, and made sure to alleviate myself from as much stress as possible but it seems that no matter how relaxed I am or proactive I am my brain is in an entirely different universe. Now I know I’m not the only one so here are 35 indications that you too may be plagued by the somewhat hilarious symptoms of ‘mom brain.’

1. When you think you’re cooking dinner, but you never pressed the ‘bake’ or turned on the burner -looks like we’re ordering food in again!

2. You lose your purse, keys, phone, mind at least once daily.

3. When someone asks you for your phone number, and you can’t remember it, or you give them your husband’s number accidentally instead.

4. You go to leave the house and realize that you left your vehicle’s trunk open all night after bringing in groceries.

5. You call your children by each other’s names, or your spouse by your son’s name, or usually just yell out some crazy collection of noises because you can’t at the moment.

6. You’re currently playing a never-ending game of hide-and-seek with your coffee.

7. When the bartender asks how old you are, you still reply with 21 and mean it, until your spouse kindly reminds you that you’re 29.

8. You’ve managed to put diaper rash cream on your toothbrush twice now.

9. When remembering your child’s birth year, you’re doing the math on your hands but can’t remember what year it is now, so you give up and make a hopeful guess.

10. You forget that your kids have a pet fish or a hamster, then thank your lucky stars that it’s still alive.

11. You have at least three “Oh s&%^!” moments a week as you rush back to the kitchen to find that you’ve overcooked or burnt something.

12. You experience ‘momnesia’ often and find yourself walking around the house and into rooms wondering why and what you’re meant to be doing.

13. Your spouse naturally checks the burners after you cook to make sure they’re off because you’ve left them on so many times -burning everything from oven mitts to spatulas.

14. When it’s time to leave the house you have everything ready then realize you’re not wearing a bra or haven’t even looked in a mirror yet -that’s about the time I start praying for a good hair day.

15. You’re always late even when you leave the house early because you end up driving around aimlessly forgetting where you’re going and taking wrong turns.

16. When filling out paperwork for your children’s extracurricular activities or at the doctor’s office you put their name as the parent/guardian and shamefully ask for new paperwork for the third time.

17.  Even though you read the reread the recipe’s steps a hundred times you still manage to mess up the measurements or forget an ingredient altogether.

18. You keep spare shoes and clothes in the car now because your children have left the house missing one piece of attire one too many times.

19. After a conversation, you feel awful because you realized that most of the time you were entirely out of it. “Sorry, I was thinking about…nothing.”

20. The cashier has to awkwardly remind you to finish your transaction because you’ve just been staring at them smiling.

21. You regularly walk out of the house thinking you forgot your keys, phone, or even child when they’re in your hands.

22. You wake up late, panic, then rush to get your children ready for school only to realize it’s Saturday when the parking lot is empty.

23. When you show up for the birthday party or event an entire day early.

24. When you’ve been holding the phone up to your ear for sixty seconds before realizing that it’s not ringing and you never hit the call button.

25. If you can’t find something of yours, you naturally check the refrigerator and kitchen pantry because there’s a legitimate chance that it could be in there.

26. Your coworkers have informed you that you’re wearing two different shoes again.

27. You’ve gotten angry then sad because, once again, you drove away with your coffee on top of your vehicle.

28. Jibberish is a language your family is starting to comprehend.

29. You’ve made it halfway through unloading the dishwasher before realizing that you forgot to start them and they’re still dirty.

30. When you often go into a panic because you think something’s broken but you just forgot to plug it in, or you’re using the wrong remote.

31. You walk into the store leaving with everything you didn’t need and forgot the one thing you did and convince yourself you’ll remember to do it tomorrow -but we all know we won’t.

32. The milk and cereal are naturally next to each other in the refrigerator now because it’s just going to happen anyways.

33. You forgot to close your sunroof or windows before washing your car.

34. You can’t write your shopping list while someone’s talking because you’ll end up shopping for a hummingbird (Samantha! Haha!) or kale savings plan and have no idea why the hell you wrote that down.

35. You can’t remember what your husband said five minutes ago, but you can remember every word to every song ever produced in the 90’s.

Let’s here it moms, can you relate to any of these? What are some hilarious ‘mom brain moments’ that you’ve had? We constantly have so much going on in our heads that it can be hard to keep track of what we’re meant to be doing or even remember who the hell we are. In a press statement published by CBS News, Dr. Liisa Galea stated, “Our most recent research shows that previous motherhood alters cognition and neuroplasticity in response to hormone therapy, demonstrating that motherhood permanently alters the brain.” So Mommas, take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone -we’re all mad here! At the very least what we can do is laugh about it and give ourselves the patience we deserve until we get back to our normal selves…if that ever happens.

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