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Have you been there? That moment when you’re on a roll, slaying some serious goals, and then all of a sudden you feel this overwhelming and overburdening anxiety start to slip in?
Sometimes when we’re on that theoretical Mommaslaying high, feeling powerful and responsible, we forget that we need to step back and reset ourselves. When your Mommaslay train is going full speed ahead, and you’re trying to stay on track but feel like you’re about to derail, it could be that you forgot to do some vital maintenance; it’s time to clear out that energetic clutter.
Speaking from personal experience, when I’m feeling mentally and emotionally on my A-Game, my to-do list can get crazy because I’m enthusiastic and putting my strengths to good use which feels fantastic. During those moments I don’t even think twice about stopping myself to check in because I’m just riding full speed and don’t want to believe that it will end. The degrading, self-destructive inner voice and energy that plagued me are gone so there’s nothing I can’t do and they’res no stopping me, so I start to pile it on. My planner and I have become one, and it’s filled to the brim with things that I need to complete: work schedule, physical activities, meal planning, spiritual work, family time, friend time, my time, chores, tasks that have been on the backburner. I’m feeling great. I am feeling so great, that I convince myself that I just need to keep pushing to stay on this high. A mistake that will eventually come back to haunt me. Suddenly, after a few days, weeks, or even months that negative inner voice and self-destructive energy start to come through. I start feeling the panic in my throat and chest. My mind is drawing blanks, and my emotions are erratic and sometimes numb. I begin to resent those around me for not taking this stress off of my plate; a plate that I self-served mind you. Instead of tackling all my goals I derail my healthy habits because the time I set aside is now for catching up on all the dirty dishes in the sink and the laundry I had phased out. I am losing sleep because I spent hours at night staying up, going over what I didn’t get done, and wondering how the hell I have so much to do. In the morning, I convince myself to take a few hours on the couch to catch up on much-needed rest, because I’m exhausted, which sets the rest of the day up for failure. I do this even though I know that this is self-sabotaging but I just can’t help it. Things start to turn over on themselves, and I find myself being resentful, burdened and stressed and I still try to ignore it and push through my days instead of doing what I should be doing which is refocusing my energy, removing what no longer serves me, and reviving myself.
This example is an outline of what happens when I forget to clear out my energetic clutter as a high-performance mom something, which if not caught quickly enough can lead to yet another depressive state. The dreadful wheel of recurring depression that I had dealt with for years.
Every minute of every day we have energy simultaneously entering and exiting us by the ways of our actions, thoughts, and being. It’s essential for us to take the time and recognize this energy, check in with ourselves daily, and remove the energy that no longer serves us if we want to remain on our A-Game.
After years of fighting and going around in circles that I explained above, and falling into one depressed state after another, I realized that I just had to stop setting myself up for failure and that it takes much more than just thinking positively. I was sabotaging my success and hindering my forward progression because I wasn’t revitalizing myself like I needed to be. I was holding onto ideas, obligations, and desires that weren’t serving a purpose In The Now, and this was creating a type of energetic clutter that set me up for failure when I was performing at my very best. I needed to be realistic and stay positive at the same time.
It is possible to remain enthusiastic and work towards your goals, even when you’re having a hard time by staying in a realistic mindset, understanding how to remove what no longer serves you, and to love yourself even when you fail. If you’re not eliminating energetic clutter, this could be what’s causing you to go around in circles, and it’s time that you switch tracks.
Every day, I prefer to do this in the morning, you need to check in with yourself and manage your energy.
Start by recognizing how you are TRULY feeling.
Don’t play coy with your emotions and don’t try to convince yourself that pushing your anger or sadness aside will somehow better your day. If there is negative energy in your life, you need to face it and remove it if you want to keep going without having a major derailing accident. Of course, there are things that you can’t get to right now. It may not be the right place or time in your life to deal with things that may have hurt you or drive you up the wall. If that’s the case, tell yourself that. Let yourself know that you feel that sadness, anger, or desire to take action. You are allowed to and most definitely should recognize those negative feelings and then tell yourself that you WILL get to a point where you can address it. It is important to honor our feelings and give them time, but you don’t have to carry them with you always. Declutter the emotions that are not serving you at that moment and move forward. Choose happiness to be at the forefront of all that you do.
My favorite part of the day is to set aside all the crazy errands and tasks that I know I need to complete and give thanks for all that surrounds me. There is nothing like that rush of positive energy that flows through your body when you sit somewhere silent, open your heart, and allow a massive smile to spread across your face. Do this and begin to list off all the things in your life that you are incredibly thankful for in that very moment and for the things that will assist you in your day. You can literally feel the positive energy coursing through your body and the energy that doesn’t serve you stands no chance.
Understand your responsibilities as well as your priorities.
Sometimes enthusiasm can lead a person to take on more responsibility than they should at times. Remember that it is okay to change your mind if you committed to something that you think you can no longer do to the best of your ability or if you’ve rearranged your priorities. It’s also okay to ask for help and delegate tasks to others. Ask for help because you don’t have to do this alone. You are astounding, and you are capable of accomplishing all that you set your mind to, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. It’s important to understand the difference between the things that we MUST do, SHOULD do, and COULD do. If you’re stressing more about the things that you could be doing rather than the things that you must get completed, then it’s time to set the record straight with yourself. Write out a quick list of must do’s, should do’s, and could do’s, help yourself realize the importance of the things that must happen and remove the others from your focus until it’s time to address them. Remember your priorities and eliminate all that is unnecessary.
Perhaps there are some habits or tasks that you’ve acquired that take up your time and energy rather than serve your ultimate goals? It’s time to declutter.
Take one step at a time and know that in tomorrow lies a second chance.
One of the quickest ways to set yourself up for failure is assuming that you’ve failed because things didn’t plan out the way that you had wanted. This sense of failure is why it’s essential to prioritize. If you complete the things that must get done, then you can breathe easy knowing that what’s left will not hold too much space energetically.
Keep a notebook and pen next to your bed so that you can write down the things you wanted to accomplish, but were unable to that day. When you do this, you should at the same time, visualize those stresses leaving your mind and falling onto the paper. If you have everything, you need to do on your bedstand than there’s no need for them to be plaguing your mind.
The things that we say aloud have a massive effect on our minds and the way we think about ourselves as well as tackle tasks. Throughout the day make a habit of saying positive affirmations to keep you motivated. I AM CAPABLE. I AM LOVING. I AM A MULTITASKER. I WILL REACH MY GOALS. I CAN RELAX. I AM A GREAT LEADER. I CAN DELEGATE TASKS. I AM HAPPY. I AM CALM. I AM AN AMAZING MOTHER. I AM AN AMAZING WIFE. I AM AN AMAZING WOMAN. MY FLAWS HAVE NO MERIT. I WILL MOVE ON. I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN ALL THAT I DO. I AM OPEN TO LEARNING.
When you call out positive affirmations throughout the day, it will remove negative energy that may be clinging to you and trying to weigh you down. Eventually, you won’t have to make it a point, you will already know all of these things to be true because they are. It will be a natural thought process.
YOU MUST PRACTICE SELF-LOVE!
I don’t think we can say this enough. Whatever self-love looks like to you, you have to be sure to do it. There is no way that you can be successful and remain enthusiastic if you don’t give yourself the time to unwind and recover as you deserve. Girl, you work so hard, you can’t believe that you’ll remain a hard worker if you don’t let yourself heal up mentally, spiritually, and physically. If you love taking baths, buy yourself a bath tray! I did, and it changed my relaxation game! I make it a point to sit in the tub once a week with a stiff drink, a plate of yummy food, a good book, and my candles and incense to help get my mind right and treat myself. I even fell asleep the other week because I was so relaxed.
Self-love should be something that you look forward to and doesn’t feel like a chore, if you’re stressing about your self-love routine then it’s time to find something else.
Remember also to take the time to heal with your spouse or significant other. Tell your spouse that you need those date nights, even if it’s something you have to do in-home after your babies have gone to sleep. You are a team, and it’s crucial to heal up as a team. When you are both vulnerable and focused on each other, it’s a healthy time to discuss where you need help and what you can do together to stay on track. My husband and I make it a point to face each other in bed while scratching each other’s backs just before we go to sleep; talking until we pass out. It helps us connect and focus on one of our top priorities, each other, and it gives us that extra energy boost that we need to make the next day a good day.
Face the facts of life and move forward.
I would be lying if I said that it is fail-proof because anxiety and depression are sneaky little devils. If you’re convinced that you’re finally in a good place and that you can’t fall down again, you’re going to have a hard time facing the downfalls life throws your way. It will more than likely be harder for you to bounce back because denial has set you up for failure. The good news is that if you make it a point to practice self-love, say positive affirmations, refocus your priorities, give thanks, and focus on your feelings every day, you will be able to notice when you’re starting to get off track. Doing these things every day will remove all the negative energy trying to desperately cling on and drag you back down; they’ve helped me and I believe that they will help you too. You will be able to catch those negative thoughts, redirect yourself, and continue down a path of positivity and production. Whatever is causing energetic clutter in your life, it’s time that you take action and focus on the things that are going to revitalize you and help you on your life’s course.