“You don’t owe anyone an explanation,” a comment my husband made to me early 2016 when I was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack. It was a time when I had significant personal breakthroughs, but instead of rejoicing these discoveries I began worrying about how I was going to explain my way of life to those around me. Those six words struck my core and set me on a path of total self-love and being the best wife and mother possible.
I now have them permanently taped to my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder to live my life for me and the happiness of my family. A reminder we could all use.
There is one thing that all moms have in common: there is more to us than our children!
Just because we are mothers does not mean that we’re now officially ‘mombies,’ or that’s our primary identity. We have interests, jobs, hobbies, beliefs, aspirations, just like everyone else. Something that we shouldn’t have to explain or keep in the dark, either way, it’s our choice. Last year I was more worried about others accepting me and seeing me rather than acknowledging the hard work I had taken to live a fulfilling life myself and just enjoy it.
You don’t need their validation and you sure as hell don’t need to explain what it is you want to do. If you’re going to be a parent 100% of the time, perfect! If you’re going to be a working mom, perfect! If you have to drop your children off at daycare, so that you can get a few hours and mommaslay the day, that’s perfect! If you’re going to start living a lifestyle that aligns with your core beliefs, absolutely perfect!
Don’t waste your energy on the opinions of others and stop worrying about having to explain yourself to people. You’re wasting valuable energy that can be implemented towards the things you love most.
As mothers and women, we have a laundry list of must do’s to accomplish, before we even lay our head down on our pillows at night the following day is planned out. We can’t help it. We are worriers, multi-taskers, caretakers, hard workers, and incredibly responsible. There is no walking away from it and adding useless stress can be incredibly harmful to productivity.
Sure, there are moments when you would rather not adult and call out, “pajama day!” to yourself and your children, cancel all plans and take some much-needed R&R. That beautiful yet grungy rest is something I believe to be necessary at times, and I’m not afraid to admit it. Throw your hair up, eat those fruit snacks and drink your juice box girl, no judgment here. Can I come over?
I repeat: there’s no need to explain yourself.
If you find yourself continually having to defend your self-care actions, no matter what they are, to anyone outside of your home, maybe it’s time you reevaluate that relationship. If you know that someone you love won’t understand what it is you’re doing because it doesn’t align with their beliefs, accept the fact that you’re two different people. If they can’t understand and this causes them upset, then that’s their stress, not yours. All you can do is be honest with what it is you want, come from love, and move on. If they are meant to go along for the ride, they will.
The way that you live your life and how you parent shouldn’t be someone else’s concern as long as you’re not causing harm to yourself or your children. You are an adult. Are you happy and healthy? Are your children happy and healthy? Are you and your partner in agreement? Is the energy within your home full of light and love? Do you do all things with positive intention? If so, then don’t let yourself go mad worrying about other’s opinions.
Stop explaining yourself and start living your enjoyable life.